As I mentioned here and here, I married a man who came with a former family. A very large former family. And I met them very early in our dating life. I used to call them "Phil's football family" for lack of better explanation.

Phil and I had only been on our second or third date when he decided that it was time that we talk about his extended family. He was married at a very young age to Chris and following some very rough years, their marriage crumbled. Through his marriage to Chris, he had developed very personal relationships with her family... especially her mother, Dodie. Dodie had become the mother to him that he had lost. When he was just 15 years old, Phil's beloved mother Katherine lost her battle with breast cancer , and Dodie lovingly took her place. Along with Dodie came a very large family that loved Phil more than sliced bread. Even after their divorce, he still was very much Dodie's "son."

The first time I ever met the family was at a Chiefs game. I had been given tickets through his work and he took me to the tailgate after the game to meet them. I was so nervous, but after meeting them, I knew why he was still involved with them... they were the most wonderful people I had ever met. And to think they were meeting someone who may even replace one of their own.

Six months after we started dating, Christmas rolled around and we were invited to their house on Christmas Eve. It was a yearly tradition to gather at Sonny and Dodie's house for Christmas Eve. It is still our family tradition. He had been doing it since he first met Chris... and things weren't going to change. Remember, this was his family.

It was undoubtedly one of the toughest, most uncomfortable things I have ever had to do.

But, they welcomed me.

Chris and I even talked.

And again, I met more and more family and really developed a love for them because they loved Phil unconditionally.

When he asked me to marry him, he wanted to invite all of them (minus one) and I didn't even hesitate. And they all came and were seated in the third row just behind his father. They were his family and they were all seated as his family.

Fast forward a few years after we married and we are expecting our first baby. It would be her first grandchild and they were so excited.

Chris threw us a baby shower for the family... yes, you did read that correctly.
(And I threw her one two years later.)

And they invited my family. It was a wonderful day - full of excitement for Grandma Dodie's first grandchild and for Phil being a daddy.

(Phil and his mom Dodie)

This family loves the Chiefs... talks about them all the time, counts down days until the NFL draft, and emails fly back and forth when someone has been signed or cut. Ever since Phil became part of this family, he would sit with Dodie at the games.

Visitor's side, 2nd row, 47 yard line... folks, these seats are down front.

They tailgate before the game with a big crew of the family. 4 hours before the game begins. She is one of the most devoted fans I know. Until just this past year, I would not usually attend the Chiefs games.

She never gave up her seat. Ever.

I would watch from the comfort of my home... first by myself, and then along with Perry. She retired from her seat in the stadium this past year, but it wasn't a full retirement. She still went to at least 3 games... she always gets first dibs.

What is most important to me now is how much bigger that circle can get. I had never been married before, and I must admit that I was rather naive in thinking that families are only made up of humans who share your blood type. Families are made up of people who love you - people who share your spirit - people who share your soul.

Dodie and her family proved that to me.

They are no longer "Phil's football family” as I used to call them. Almost 13 years later, they are now just his family.

They are my family.

Labels: family